I've gotten more things done more calmly and faster, by being patient. It started off as a weird experiment, and it became a superpower.
The missed flight
I've been there. First leg of the trip got me late, and then I had an extra security check to pass, and I get to the gate for the connecting flight as the 2 employees quietly looking at some papers raised their eyes towards me, expecting a temper tantrum. They didn't get one. It wasn't their fault, and it's not like they can throw a lasso onto the departing plane and bring it back to the gate for mighty voiced me to get on board.
I caught my breath, tied my shoelaces (had to get the shoes off at the security check and then I ran for it), and asked where to find the desk that I needed to find. I went there, narrowly avoiding the screaming people, looked towards the eyes of the employee who holds the power to help me, smiled, slowly greeted them and told them what flight I was on, and what flight I missed. Then, I shut up, to let them process what I had just said. Their response was to look through their computer, and print me another set of boarding passes for a flight that departs in 90 minutes, to get me to my destination through a small detour. I thanked them and left the desk to get a beer. The other people kept shouting.
The missed train
This one's completely on me. I screwed up my schedule, I thought I had more time, but I made a few mistakes along the way which added 5 minutes each to my travel itinerary. I was not patient, and watched the train leave without me as a result. The situation was worse because it was an expensive city, I had to catch all other reservations in my itinerary, and all other trains were completely sold out.
So, with the bitter taste in my drying throat, I went into damage control. I asked my partner to look for alternatives at any of the self-service ticket machines, while I did the same thing online. First one at the checkout page should shout to make the other person stop looking. It was expensive, but we found tickets for that same evening, "ruining" only one day of our trip.
So, next step was further damage control: un-ruin the day. We walked slowly, drank some water, and changed the scenery. Went into a cafe, had a snack to satisfy the effects of our CRH and cortisol spikes. And then - we had one of the best days of our lives, that will forever live in our shared memory. I now can't believe that some of the moments were from the exact same day, but they were.
An impatient country
This is why I was inspired to write this in the first place. I just got back from a country that works fundamentally different from what I wrote here. Everybody's impatient, nervous.
I made a few mistakes. I set the wrong credit card to the ride hailing app, and I couldn't pay the fare by card, so I paid by cash, only to be charged again after I added the correct card. I went shopping for some items, only to unpack them at home and realize they don't fit together, and get a reaction from locals like "yeah these a-holes always sell them like that to screw you over". In both cases I employed the same tricks as before: patience.
I accessed customer support, and after endless pressing of the "1" number at the dial, I got to a human operator. Again, I know I won't get anywhere if they don't like me, so I explained the situation politely, shortly and objectively: this is what happened, I was double charged. They said they'll check and give me a refund if it checks out. 1 minute later I get a refund. Zero drama. Zero nerves. However, locals around me heard about my situation and started panicking and cursing. And for the store - I went back, politely approached the store manager, explained that I want to return sealed items, gave the receipt, and they helped me find the right items - awesome!
On the same day as this was happening, I watched some news on TV how several brawls happened in that small town: 2 drivers couldn't agree on who has priority - the one who exits a parking lot or the one who wants to drive forward; and 2 bus passengers who couldn't agree who should get the seat. These insignificant issues were enough to knock teeth out from each other.
Wrap up
I've never seen anything done so slowly, or not at all, as when people are impatient and rude. Yet I'm still surprised at how easy things get done when you just talk politely and patiently and ask for help. I'm so surprised by this that I thought I'd write a whole article about it.